Last night’s Top Ten was “Top Ten Excuses Of The Man Caught Having Sex With A Picnic Table.” CBS’ Letterman: “An Ohio man was arrested after a neighbor videotaped him having sex with a picnic table. That’s the end of the civilization. He was seen on four separate occasions engaged in the alleged activity. So apparently, they were dating.”  The video is from a local tv station in Ohio.

10) “Got all worked up after looking through the IKEA catalog.”

9) “C’mon, did you see that picnic table?”

“I was refinishing it and things just got out of hand.”

7) “Just broke up with the pool table and didn’t want to be alone.”

6) “If you’re gonna arrest every man who’s had sex with a picnic table, you’re gonna have to build a hell of a lot more prisons.”

5) “Was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife — hiyoooo!”

4) “Hey, a man has needs.”

3) “My doctor said I have Restless Nuts Syndrome.”

2) “It’s not like I spent $4,000 for a hooker.”

1) “Well, it was our anniversary.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JflNlVyPqQ

written by Roc