Chris Berman Goes Off!!! Kid Made It All Up
Feb 06

Photo: Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal (32) goes for the lay up against the Utah Jazz during the first quarter of the NBA basketball game in this Dec. 3, 2007 file photo, in Salt Lake City. O'Neal is prepared for the Miami Heat to trade him, a confidant of the 14-time All-Star center told The Associated Press on Tuesday night, Feb. 5, 2008. O'Neal's associate, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to reveal anything publicly, indicated a move could be imminent. Boy, I love this move!  Just love it!  I talked about it yesterday when it was first reported, but now that it’s a physical away - I LOVE IT EVEN MORE!!! 

 I really don’t believe first year GM Steve Kerr is making a chain reaction move due to the Paul Gasol trade in LA.  I can see the Suns making the move for Shaq just to avoid The Diesel in Dallas.  I love the fact that Kerr has the balls to make such a move!   Photo: Miami Heat center Shaquille O'Neal, center, sits on the bench during the first quarter of the Heat's NBA basketball game against the Indiana Pacers on Saturday, Jan. 26, 2008. in Miami. O'Neal hurt his hip last month while diving for a loose ball against the Utah Jazz. This move rejuvenates Shaq!  The Suns only need him for the postseason.  He is hurt, but they do not need to rush him back from that hip injury.  I love that the Suns have gotten the big man that they desperately need.   Big question now - Will it bring a title to Phoenix?  Time will definitely tell!  It will definitely make the run a lot more enjoyable. This is a short term solution.  But for Suns fans, it’s a possible championship.  AND, the Suns finally have the toughness they’ve been starving for.   There are no worries now on someone from the Lakers or Spurs beating up on Steve Nash.   Risks:  He is banged up and could get hurt again.  Some other concerns maybe if he can fit in the system as well as be apart of this team’s solid chemistry.    Here a just a handful of nicknames…please email me some that I missed:    1. Shaq: This nickname has been used so universally for so long that some people actually don’t know that “Shaq” is short for his given name of Shaquille, which is Arabic for “Little Warrior.”

2. Superman: Shaq is obsessed with the Man of Steel. He has a Superman tattoo on his arm, a Superman logo on several of his cars, a logo etched onto a leather jacket, and he can often be seen wearing Superman t-shirts, necklaces, and other paraphernalia. He even starred in Steel, a crappy movie about a man who was himself a cheap Superman knockoff. The dude flat out wants to be Superman. Sure it’s crazy, but are you gonna tell him “no”?

3. Diesel: Also spoken as “Shaq Diesel.” This nickname supposedly indicates that he has the power and endurance of a diesel engine. Or maybe it’s because of the weird burning smell that follows him everywhere.

4. Daddy: Also spoken as “Shaq Daddy” and “The Big Daddy.” Although he’s estranged from his biological father, Shaq is extremely close to his step-father Phillip Harrison (whom O’Neal credits for making him the monstrous, hulking man he is today). Shaq himself has fathered five children and likes to act as a sort of big brother/father figure to his younger teammates.

5. M.D.E (Most Dominant Ever): Shaq began referring to himself as the M.D.E. after leading the Lakers to three straight NBA titles from 2000 to 2002. Despite missing a slew of games during those years and of course being very fat, Shaq was virtually unstoppable in the playoffs and especially the Finals (where he averaged close to 40 PPG). People use this nickname to mock him now, but back then it was pretty hard to argue against it.

6. The Big [Whatever]: Shaq loves giving himself new nicknames that begin with “The Big” and end with a grandiose reference, usually to some other famous person or thing. These nicknames have included the “The Big Aristotle” (as a reference to the consistent greatness that won him the 2000 NBA MVP) , “The Big Maravich” (for making nine free throws in a row against the Portland Trailblazers in the playoffs), “The Big Felon” (for making a game-saving steal against the Orlando Magic), “The Big IPO” (because his stock was way, way up), and “The Big Baryshnikov” (comparing his low post moves to the dance work of famous Russian ballet artist Mikhail Baryshnikov).

7. L.C.L. (Last Center Left): One of Shaq’s biggest complaints — and there are many — is how the center position has been almost totally redefined. Instead of huge, indomitable pivot-men, today’s NBA centers are smaller, faster, and more “versatile” (i.e., they shoot threes instead of posting up strong and taking it to hoop). For this reason, Shaq feels that he is the last true center in the NBA, and perhaps the world (that sound you just heard was Yao Ming’s heart breaking).

8. Wilt Chamberneazy: This nickname was coined by former teammate Kobe Bryant as a sort of homage/comparison to Wilt Chamberlain. Shaq considers it his favorite nickname and even had it printed on his baseball cap.

9. Doctor Shaq: This nickname was invented in 2005 as a way to dis Andrew Bynum, Shaq’s “replacement” on the Lakers. Bynum claimed that he was similar to Shaq, except that he made his freethrows. Never one to take insults lightly, Shaq responded thus: “Tell him Shaq doesn’t respond to juvenile delinquents without a college degree. Tell him to get his degree and we can talk. In the meantime, he should call me Dr. Shaq because I’m working on my PhD.” Shaq originally stated that he was going to earn his doctorate in “either criminology or art history,” but instead opted to accept honorary degrees in Shaq-Fu and Kazaamology.

10. Shaq Albert: Back in 2003, Mark Cuban tried to give his Dallas Mavericks an edge over the Lakers by playing a specially prepared cartoon on the team’s jumbotron during a timeout. The cartoon depicted Shaq’s face on the body of cartoon character Fat Albert and was accompanied by a voiceover that criedout, “Hey, hey, hey, I’m Shaq Albert!” Instead of killing Cuban with one clubbing blow, Shaq laughed until he was doubled over. Which obviously was hard for someone as fat as he was.

11. The Big Deporter: (This should be included in number 6, but it deserved its own entry.) In 2000, after eliminating Arvydas Sabonis and Rik Smits from the playoffs, Shaq dubbed himself “The Big Deporter” (both players were outspoken about returning to their native countries after getting eliminated).

12: Osama Bin Shaq: Shaq gave himself this nickname “for terrorizing Keith Van Horn under the boards” during the 2002 NBA Finals.

13. The Big Banana: Renamed himself “The Big Banana” because “I peel the life out of the Nets.”   Thanks to Basketbawful.com for the nickname list. 

written by Roc

4 Responses to “Shaq Arrives…Best Nicknames…”

  1. FanYard Says:

    Here’s one nickname from yesterday’s Arizona Republic, by Paul Coro:
    The Big Saguaro. It means cactus, but I dunno if it counts yet, being so new and all. We at FanYard like it, though!

  2. Phoenix Suns Trade Fuel For Diesel, Pending Medical at FanYard Bloggin’ Says:

    [...] bringing in Shaq Daddy (This guy has more nicknames than anyone I know!) and switching Amare Stoudemire back to his natural power forward position, the [...]

  3. Roc Says:

    Thanks guys for the comments…Nice work on http://www.theFanyard.com...

  4. Shaq “The Diesel” Might Help Foreclosure Victims | Zillow® Blog Says:

    [...] crushing Kobe Bryant and the L.A. Lakers 131-92. Meanwhile, Kobe’s former Laker teammate and the man of a thousand nicknames, Shaquille “Shaq” O’Neal, is making news for quite another reason — he’s the newest [...]

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